Hi! I’m Ashley Cates and welcome to my fitness website! My fitness journey has been long and my goals are ever changing, but I thought I’d have a place on my site dedicated to my story that I’ll be continuously updating. When I say that I’ve been on all ends of the fitness and health spectrum I mean it, and you will read (if you have the time, patience, and curiosity lol) about them all below. This is where I’ll be my most transparent but I want to show that balance can come to a girl that went from restrained dieting with juice cleanses and excessive cardio to over consuming with no exercise to “clean eating”/low calorie and excessive cardio again to now eating to fuel my body and strength training to make it stronger, I told you I’ve been on all ends! But if someone can learn from my mistakes, or see that someone can find balance in fitness and health even after going through those earlier phases, then me sharing all of this will be worth it.
Typical American
Born and raised in Southern California I grew up fairly active trying about every sport (soccer, swimming, diving, basketball, softball, and cheerleading), but nothing ever stuck. My nutrition growing up was very typical American meals with cereal or poptarts for breakfast, turkey sandwiches and chips for lunch, and Stoffer’s lasagna or Pastaroni for dinner, and a lot of fast food mixed in too. My parents are extremely hard workers who (like most Americans) sought convenience in eating after working long hours and driving my brother and I around from school to different activities. This led to me just not knowing anything about food or nutrition which played a role in my adult years.
Thin Was In
I stopped doing any type of sports when I was 17, and by the time I turned 18 I had started to get this obsession with just wanting to be really thin. The magazines and media said “Thin Was In” and that’s what I wanted. Now, I wouldn’t say I had any type of eating disorder but I definitely had
terrible body image issues and tried many different things to get “skinny”. Hours of cardio at the gym and detox cleanses were my go to for when I wanted to get my stomach tiny, and then I would go back to eating whatever I wanted.
I remember the specific incident of wanting to be really thin for prom. I went on a 3 day cleanse with no food and doing 2 hours of cardio each day, and it totally worked to get my stomach small and I can remember friends and family noting how “tiny” I was. They were trying to compliment me but what they didn’t realize was happening was that I was getting validation from them that I was at my best and most acceptable being that small, which meant that I needed to continue my behavior of cardio and cleanses to stay that way. It got to a point where I was eating very little unless I was in a social setting in which I would eat a lot. I remember many times just getting a large blended coffee and sipping on it throughout the day and not eating anything else until I went out to dinner that night. This went on again and off again for a few years, and during this time I was also in a terrible relationship with someone who would note that they loved how thin I was and my hip bones were “cute”. I think there are just certain things we hear that never leave us, positive or negative, and 10 years later remembering that someone who I was actually in a serious relationship had the audacity to tell me my hip bones were cute has just never left me. And to think I actually took that as a genuine compliment…my mindset back then was seriously disturbing. (The picture above 2009 is what I looked like during most of that time)
Over Consuming because YOLO
After getting out of that relationship and becoming a manager at my retail job, I had a sudden boost in my self-confidence and just completely changed my attitude toward my body and food. I realized I was important, and became set in the “YOLO”(You Only Live Once)
mentality and decided that “I only live once so I’m going to take advantage and enjoy everything I can! I’m not going to waste my time at the gym and not eat yummy food!” Having this mentality and turning 21, then led to excessive drinking and late night eating. It was pretty slow but weight gain started from that point. I was working in the mall so I would eat at the food court often. I remember working next to Corner Bakery and getting soup bread bowls often and eating the ENTIRE bread bowl (I recently found out those are 1200 Calories).
I decided retail wasn’t for me and I wanted to go back to college to get my BA in English. I found an office administrative job that worked with me going back to college at night. Working full time and going to school did nothing to benefit me health wise. More fast food and blended high calorie coffees were consumed; and then I would come home after my long days and have a beer or two.
On the weekends I would always eat out and drink a lot. I had no concept of being healthy or thinking I needed to be. I knew I was busting my butt at work and school so I thought enjoying all the pleasures of food and drinks was totally fine and I deserved it. I was (and still am) in a relationship with someone who loves me for me and never made any comments on my weight or eating habits. But slowly clothes start getting tighter and I had to buy bigger sizes, but I was still confident in the way I felt and looked. I wasn’t receiving the “tiny” comments anymore but I didn’t really care, or I guess notice, because I was enjoying myself. (The picture above 2014 is what I looked like during most of this time)
Drastic Measures
In 2016, I was at a point where I would only wear leggings, because I would refuse to buy bigger sizes in jeans. I was eating Del Taco multiple times a week for lunch, getting a large pizza on Monday night’s and spreading it throughout the week for dinner, having a beer or more most nights, and not exercising. Finding myself having to drink an energy drink everyday because I had no energy and I couldn’t figure out why. I had then heard about a weight loss program and just thought “Why not?” The program started off well enough with eating balanced meals of lean protein, whole grains, vegetables, fruits, and healthy fats, and exercising in the gym with strength training and cardio. I hadn’t done any of those type of healthy habits before, so my body responded VERY well.
I lost 12 lbs in the first month and I was feeling great! As the program continued though it got extremely more strict, first grains were cut and then no fruit and no dairy. And while I had been enjoying strength training SO much I was putting on too much muscle, which was getting in the way of the scale going down. So I had to switch to just doing cardio which ended up being 1 hour spin classes 10 times a week. Please keep in mind that at this point I had NO CLUE about macros or training, and I was just doing what I was told. I recently decided to track a day of what I was eating during that time and found out I was only eating 700 calories a day on days I was doing 1 spin class and 900 calories a day on days I was doing 2 spin classes…the scale was going down so I was happy I was reaching my goal…but at what cost?
During that time I was secluding myself from events or I was eating all of my meals prior to any event I needed to go to, or worse…bringing tupper ware with me to restaurants. I was starving and tired all of the time. I would spend the little energy I had in the gym. I remember not going to my boyfriend’s birthday event because I just didn’t have the energy for it. It was extreme and legitimately like I was prepping for a physique show…but this was just supposed to be weight loss for my life and health.
When the program ended I was down 40 lbs in 4 months. I was tiny with lack of energy from overexercising and under eating, but probably the worst part was that the program ended a week before Thanksgiving…so I went into the holidays being at my goal weight but with NO IDEA how to maintain it. The program didn’t come with an exit strategy, so I thought to keep the weight off I must have to continue what I had been doing. So I went into the holidays continuing to “eat clean” during the week and doing 5 days of spin, but then on the weekends would eat and drink everything in sight. Then add in more cardio because “I needed to burn off those weekend calories,” it was a never ending cycle for two months. I was unhappy and felt lost, and enter 2017 with the thought “I can’t live like this forever…there has to be another way” (The picture above 2016 is when I was at my smallest).
Getting Educated
Regardless of feeling lost with being so unbalanced with training and nutrition, I did genuinely like to exercise and eat high nutrient foods but I just knew the way I was doing it wasn’t a sustainable lifestyle. And I had inspired my friends and family to want to adapt healthier habits too and saw them losing weight, which inspired me to want to be a Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach. I was also anxious to learn more about training and nutrition so that I could learn how I was going to be able to keep off my weight loss for life! I signed up to receive my Personal Training Certification through National Academy of Sports Medicine and was told I could do that courses from February to June. I was so excited! But too anxious to wait a month to start learning about how I was going to maintain my weight loss in a healthy way. So I hit up google searching “How to maintain weight loss after drastic dieting” and my search results eventually led me to a method called “Flexible Dieting”. I learned that flexible dieting isn’t necessarily a diet but a lifestyle in which you eat high nutrient foods 80-90% of the time and then have “fun foods and drinks” the other 10-20% of the time. The point of this is to develop a relationship with food in which NOTHING is off limits but EVERYTHING could be enjoyed in the right moderation, and one of the best ways to track this I learned was through tracking calories and macronutrient (protein, carb, and fat) intake. I remember seeing people on Instagram living the “If It Fits Your Macros” lifestyle enjoying pizza, beer, and cake and staying lean! This is what I had been looking for! A REAL SCIENTIFIC SOLUTION TO MAINTAINING WEIGHT LOSS! A way to enjoy life as long as calories were accounted for.
I had been inconsistently tracking my calories since my drastic weight loss with the calorie goal of 1200 (which is pretty much what My Fitness Pal gives everyone in the beginning) and the inconsistency with eating low calorie and then binging on the weekends actually led me to gaining weight from 123 to being 131 lbs in January 2016. I had been following a high protein and fat diet with low carbs (because I had been under the impression that the carbs and sugar in grains, fruit, and dairy caused weight gain) so I set my calories at what I thought would be more sustainable at 1350 and my macro % at 40% protein, 30% carbs, and 30% fat. I kept those numbers for 2 months and was able to maintain my weight and eat anything I wanted as long as it was within my calorie and macro goals. I was elated because I felt a little less stressed about food, but at the same time I was finding myself limited because my calories were still pretty low so I couldn’t really enjoy much of anything. And I had seen other women online who
were lean but claiming they were eating 2000 calories a day! I thought “HOW?!” So I continued to do research and came across the term “Reverse Diet” termed by Dr. Layne Norton.
I learned that Reverse Dieting is basically the opposite of regular dieting. In a regular diet you decrease calories and increase cardio to lose weight, whereas in a Reverse Diet you slowly add calories in and decrease cardio in an effort to get your body used to consuming more calories after being in a calorie deficit. I read everything about Reverse Dieting and using tracking macronutrient intake as a way to successfully do it, and even though I was terrified that increasing calories and decreasing cardio was going to make me gain weight, I was so desperate that I trusted the science and just went for it. I slowly increased my calories through adjusting my macronutrient intake by mostly increasing carbs, decreased my cardio, and adapted progressive strength training to my workout routine, and I watched my body change ( I was becoming stronger AND leaner) and I watched my mental health towards food really change because nothing was “clean” or “dirty”, food was food, everything came down to portion sizes in order for anything to fit my macros. You can read my whole Reverse Dieting process here.
From Skinny to Strong
I started my Reverse Diet eating roughly 1,350 calories and doing 5 spin classes a week, I ended it eating 1,900 calories, doing 1 spin class a week and strength training 4 times a week and I actually lost body fat through this process. Yes, you read that right! I lost weight EATING MORE AND DOING LESS CARDIO! My body had been in a deprived state so when I started treat it right it flourished off of that! And building fat burning muscle through progress strength training gave me that toned and leaner look I had always wanted.
Being able to eat more and know that I could eat anything I wanted as long as it was within my macros was a total game changer for me! I could have carbs, dairy, fruit, candy, cake, and drinks, and NOT gain body fat?! But I enjoyed all of those things and my body didn’t blow up like I was under the impression that it would.
After my Reverse Diet, I did a lean bulk to put on more muscle, then a 6 week mini cut to cut out any fat from the bulk, and then a 2 week reverse diet to get back up to my maintenance calories. I stayed at my maintenance calories for about 2 months and I’m now currently in a lean bulk phase in an effort to grow the booty! Then I’ll do another mini cut in probably March. Through all of these phases I manipulate my macros and training to get me to the goals I’m currently striving for. Sometimes my macros are lower and cardio is higher, and sometimes my macros are high and my cardio is completely cut, but through any phase I now have that balance that I am eating to fuel my body and give it energy for my daily life. And I exercise in an effort to make my body stronger for longevity, not as a way to punish myself for eating anything or to “burn off calories”. The picture on the left is comparing my weight loss vs fat loss phases which you can read about here.
Living A Sustainable Lifestyle
So you did it! You read everything! I told you my journey has been long, but I feel it’s important to share because I have now found a way to incorporate fitness into a sustainable lifestyle. I’ve found the “SECRET”! Moderation and balance! Ok, maybe it’s not a “secret” but it was to me! I was always given the impression (like many) that in order to reach any fitness goal drastic measures NEEDED to be taken! But I have worked with clients that lost body fat and gained muscle in a sustainable way that has made it easy for them to keep it off. Isn’t that the point? Majority of fat wasn’t put on in 3 days so it’s not going to come off that quickly either, building a body you love and respect takes time, and I would LOVE to help get you there! Please contact me if you’re looking to discover a better balance with food and training! I would love to write you a program that will help get you there!
